So, I was taking a stroll in Orwellian knightmare-town Middlesbrough the other day. I was enjoying a tray of chips as I was walking down one of the main pedestrainised streets just off Linthorpe road, which is one of the areas included in the pilot scheme for those cameras with speakers that tell you off when you’re being naughty. A chip fell from my tray and I swear I heard a crackly “pick that up please” come from behind me. I was too intimidated to look behind so I just strode off, holding my chips securely in place.
Now, I realise he may have been addressing someone else, but I remain convinced that Middlesbrough is in fact being scrutinised form afar by pillocks who can’t cope with a chip being on the floor and I am soon to be arrested to bits.
So, yeah, not much exciting has happened recently.